幽默英语段子

【第一条】

Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.

考试害了多少个孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。

【第二条】

For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.

对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自己，我老婆比她们都好。

【第三条】

Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.

你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。

【第四条】

Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.

自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。

【第五条】

I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.

我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。

【第六条】

I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke!

我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟!

【第七条】

Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.

考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。

【第八条】

Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.

国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。

【第九条】

The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.

听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。

【第十条】

The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.

男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那叫风骚。

【第十一条】

One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.

一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。

【第十二条】

Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.

毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。

【第十三条】

Brother, you have to face the resolution is good?

大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗?

【第十四条】

In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.

天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。

【第十五条】

Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have!

理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有!

【第十六条】

More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.

再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。

【第十七条】

Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.

思想有多远，你就滚多远;光速有多快，你就滚多快。

【第十八条】

Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.

中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话;二，不爱听实话。

【第十九条】

You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.

你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。

【第二十条】

Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.

女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。